The Marauder Notebooks
by TwiLyght Sans Sparkles
Summary: When James Potter and Sirius Black discover a secret notebook that allows Slytherins to communicate, all hell breaks loose. A Marauder Era Blog-type story.
1. Chapter 1

_Yes, yes, I know I have a bunch of other stories (some of which I may put up for adoption before too long…if I get a bunch of angry PMs persuading me otherwise I won't do that). And I'm very sorry for teasing you with them….but frankly, I've got writer's block something fierce, and this is the only idea I felt I could pursue with any luck right now. This will be pretty much canon compliant, and I hope it will be enjoyable. _

* * *

><p><strong>The Slytherin Notebooks<strong>

_**A small but worthy effort by Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Black to unite the noble House**_

Hello, Slytherins. It is I, James Potter, and my cohort—er, comrade—Sirius Black. We have stolen one of your notebooks and intend to use it for our own nefarious purposes. So we suppose we must thank our good friend Charlie Crabbe, who left this notebook in his Charms class.

_James, shouldn't we thank the creators of these wonderful notebooks? _

Oh, all right. We would also like to thank the creators of this notebook, Bellatrix Black and Lucius Malfoy. It's lovely and awesome and the best thing we've ever discovered, blah di blah di blah.

_While we're thanking people, we would like to express our gratitude to our even BETTER friend, Marianne Wayne, a Ravenclaw who is learning the secrets of this notebook as we speak. Before long, all of Hogwarts shall be privy to your secrets! MAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!_

Your secret admirers,

James Potter and Sirius Black

* * *

><p>CHARLIE CRABBE, GET TO THE COMMON ROOM THIS INSTANT! –Lucius Malfoy<p>

OWWW! You didn't need to yell! –Charlie Crabbe

GET TO THE COMMON ROOM, DAMN IT! –Lucius Malfoy

He didn't yell, Charlie. He wrote all in capital letters. –Bellatrix Black

It still hurt my eyes! –Charlie Crabbe

Serves you right. Hurt eyes will be the least of your problems, before too long. –Bellatrix Black

Bella, you do realize that if you tell him what will happen, he'll never come? –Andrew Nott

I didn't tell him! I just mentioned that he would encounter a lot of pain when he arrived! –Bellatrix Black

Oooh….things are looking bad, Charlie. You should keep hiding in that bathroom. Third one from the right on the fifth floor. –James Potter

Okay. Thanks, James! –Charlie Crabbe

JAMES! WHY WOULD YOU TELL THEM WHERE I AM? NOW THEY'VE FOUND ME! –Charlie Crabbe

Heeheehee! –Sirius Black

If you Gryffindors are done tormenting your classmates, meet me in the library. I believe I've found the secret. –Marianne Wayne

* * *

><p>I am an idiot. –Charlie Crabbe<br>I am an idiot. –Charlie Crabbe  
>I am an idiot. –Charlie Crabbe<p>

Really, Lucius? That's the best punishment you could come up with? –Bellatrix Black

I am an idiot. –Charlie Crabbe

Well, what else do you want him to write? –Lucius Malfoy

I am an idiot. –Charlie Crabbe

I don't want him to write lines at all! –Bellatrix Black

I don't mind writing lines. –Charlie Crabbe

Write what we told you! –Lucius Malfoy

I am an idiot who doesn't mind writing lines. –Charlie Crabbe

Oh, come on, Lu! Lines are pointless. With his handwriting we can barely read it anyway. –Bellatrix Black

I told you never to call me that, Bella….—Lucius Malfoy

And I ignored you. Now, find something else for Crabbe to do before he clutters up these notebooks with his stupid lines! –Bellatrix Black

Oh, fine. Charlie? Come here for a second, will you? –Lucius Malfoy

Chocolate Frog, James? –Sirius Black

Don't mind if I do. This is getting good. –James Potter

Bella? Are you ever going to block those Gryffindors? –Narcissa Black

Trust me, Cissy. I'll raze their precious Tower, if I have to. –Bellatrix Black

Really? Our whole Tower? –James Potter

That seems a little harsh. –Sirius Black

I'd raze it to the ground! You know I would! Now get out of our notebook or so help me I will beat you senseless and bury you in hippogriff poo! –Bellatrix Black

Okay. We're leaving now. –James Potter

See you later, cousie! –Sirius Black

* * *

><p>What in the name of Merlin's most baggy Y-fronts were you THINKING? –Lucius Malfoy<p>

I didn't know he'd show it to McGonagall! Now shut up. You'll get me another detention. –Bellatrix Black

What is she making you do? –Andrew Nott

She's having me organize her desk, which happens to be full of scorpions. And I said shut up! –Bellatrix Black

Scorpions? Seriously? Who the hell keeps SCORPIONS in their desk? –Andrew Nott

McGonagall, apparently. –Lucius Malfoy

For your information, Misters Malfoy and Nott, they used to be the valued contraband of students such as yourself. I keep them in my desk as a reminder to never break the rules. Now, do you have a suggestion for what I should Transfigure Miss Black's notebook into, or shall I keep it until she can prove, once and for all, that she is trustworthy? –Professor McGonagall

….

….

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? –Lucius Malfoy

Please don't write all in capitals. Like Mister Crabbe said, it does hurt one's eyes. –Professor McGonagall

Keep it. Bellatrix can prove she's trustworthy, right, Lucius? –Andrew Nott

Oh, yes, most definitely. –Lucius Malfoy

I don't think she's getting that notebook back, do you, Sirius? –James Potter

Nope. Never. Good to see you, Professor! –Sirius Black

It's good to see you, too, Sirius. And you too, James. I believe I'll keep this notebook in my desk for safekeeping. –Professor McGonagall

DAMN IT! –Lucius Malfoy

Five points from Slytherin, Mister Malfoy. -Professor McGonagall


	2. Chapter 2

Testing, testing, one, two, three….—Marianne Wayne

It works! But why did you say "testing" twice?—Sirius Black

It's something Muggles do when they want to test a microphone.—Marianne Wayne

That's dumb. I mean—weird. You know what I mean.—James Potter

Thanks for getting us these notebooks, Marianne! You're the best!—Sirius Black

If there's anything we can do for you…..let us know.—Sirius Black

As long as it isn't homework.—James Potter

I'll keep in touch.—Marianne Wayne

* * *

><p>Lucius, this is <em>awful!<em> –Bellatrix Black

I know, I know! Trust me, I've held scorpions before.—Lucius Malfoy

Not _that_! I found a potion to get rid of the stings, but—wait. Since when have you handled scorpions?—Bellatrix Black

I swore never to tell another living soul. –Lucius Malfoy

How about a dead one?—Bellatrix Black

I suppose that would do….though I'm not one to condone talking to corpses.—Lucius Malfoy

Back on track...what are we going to do about the Gryffindor brats?—Andrew Nott

I don't know that there's anything we _can _do. They have the notebook, they've got that Mudblood helping them, and McGonagall is on their side.—Lucius Malfoy

Can't we block them from our notebooks?—Narcissa Black

That's not a bad idea, Cissy. I'll make it work. –Bellatrix Black

Hehe! I knew you'd like it!—Narcissa Black

Stop giggling. It makes you sound like an imbecile.—Bellatrix Black

Sorry, Bella.—Narcissa Black

Just shut up and get the damn security charms in place.—Lucius Malfoy

That's another five points from Slytherin, Mister Malfoy. Foul language will not be tolerated.—Professor McGonagall

AND HURRY UP, WILL YOU?—Lucius Malfoy

* * *

><p>Um, hello. My name is Peter Pettigrew. My friends, James and Sirius, told me to write here, so that's what I'm doing. Now they can't dunk my underwear in the lake! Haha!—Peter Pettigrew<p>

You know we wouldn't _really _dunk them in the lake, right?—James Potter

Unless we really, really wanted to.—Sirius Black

Really?—Peter Pettigrew

Really.—Sirius Black

GET OUT OF OUR NOTEBOOKS!—Lucius Malfoy

You know, we'd rather not.—James Potter

This is so much fun!—Sirius Black

* * *

><p>Well, Marianne. Your plan seems to be working.—Albus Dumbledore<p>

Headmaster! What….er….what plan?—Marianne Wayne

Your plan to unite all of Hogwarts through notebooks, of course! I must commend you on your ingenuity.—Albus Dumbledore

Um….thanks. I'm honored that you think so highly of what I'm doing. Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got quite a bit more to do, so I'd best be getting about it?—Marianne Wayne

Of course, Miss Wayne. And that last question mark wasn't necessary—unless, of course, you were unsure whether or not you have work to be getting back to.—Albus Dumbledore

Yes, Headmaster. I mean, I know. I….I'll just be going now….—Marianne Wayne

* * *

><p><strong>The Private Journal of Marianne Wayne<strong>

How can I have been so dumb? I'm a Ravenclaw, for Merlin's sake!

All right, maybe I wasn't _dumb_. I just never thought Dumbledore would mistake this as an effort to unite the school through enchanted notebooks. Honestly, I just wanted to get back at Malfoy for whispering about me with his little friends and calling me a Mudblood. (Sometimes I wish I'd never learned that word. It was much easier to handle hearing it when I didn't know what it meant.)

And so, rather than spend my free time working out the kinks in the notebook system so I can distribute copies to my Housemates, I've been hiding up here in my dorm, setting up security charms so I can have a private journal when I want one. I had to enchant another journal to make sure what I wrote didn't leak out to—God forbid—the Slytherins.

I don't know what I'll tell those two Gryffindors. Probably that I've had some trouble with the charms I wanted to use. They'll never know the difference.

* * *

><p><strong>The Private Journal of Remus Lupin<strong>

At least, I _hope _it's private. James and Sirius keep talking about these public notebooks they stole from the Slytherins, and I don't know if this one is connected or not. I hope it isn't.

Anyway, Hogwarts is wonderful. I'm so glad I got to come here. Mum put up a bit of a fight, but I'm glad Dumbledore finally convinced her. My Housemates seem nice

_You bet we are! _

Wha—who is that?

_It's me, Sirius! _

This journal was supposed to be private!

_And it is! Sort of. It's connected to mine and James's, but that could change in a heartbeat, you know. _

What….what do you want from me?

_Who said I wanted something? _

You _did_ want something, Sirius. You wanted to say hello!

_Right, right. Hello, Remus! _

Um….hello.

Come on, say it with more gusto! You sound like Peter. 

**Thanks a lot, James!**

You're welcome!

_So, Remmy—you don't mind if we call you Remmy, do you?_

_Remmy?_

_Where'd he go?_

I don't know—I can't see his writing anymore. 

**Everything he wrote is gone! **

Thank you for pointing that out, Peter. We wouldn't have known that without your help. 

**You're welcome!**


	3. Chapter 3

_What is it with you people and longer chapters? Anyway, this one's longer for your reading pleasure :P_

* * *

><p>Remmy…..Reeeemmmmyyyyy... –Sirius Black<p>

Give it up, Sirius. He's not going to answer. –James Potter

Does he even have that old notebook anymore? –Peter Pettigrew

What do you mean? –James Potter

Well, just a minute after he left the notebook, Frank said he saw him running from one of the bathrooms. –Peter Pettigrew

Yeah….that can happen, after Hagrid gets done with them. –Sirius Black

Haha! Wait….does he use our bathrooms? –Peter Pettigrew

I _think _so….. James Potter

Wouldn't he just go outside? I mean, he's kind of big….he might crush the toilets. –Peter Pettigrew

Why can't WE go outside? –Sirius Black

Hmm….I think we need to ask McGonagall about this. –James Potter

I think we need to ask Frank about our little Remmy. –Sirius Black

* * *

><p>Yeah, I saw him. He looked like he'd seen Filch with his shirt off. –Frank Longbottom<p>

That's creepy! –Peter Pettigrew

Ten Galleons to whoever gets Filch to take his shirt off! –James Potter

…..

…

Sorry….. that was just….um….. –Frank Longbottom

Heh. Sorry. But doesn't that sound like an awesome bet? –James Potter

It sounds like one that might get you expelled. –Frank Longbottom

Oh, come on! It'd be hilarious! Can you picture the Slytherins when they saw Filch in all his naked glory? –Sirius Black

Yes. They'd be piles of ash, and you'd all get sent to Azkaban for murder. –Frank Longbottom

That's dumb. –Sirius Black

So. Remus. You saw him running from one of the bathrooms?—James Potter

Yeah. I think I smelled smoke when I walked in there, too. –Frank Longbottom

You don't think he _burned _it?—James Potter

Why would he burn it?—Sirius Black

Maybe because he was afraid of what you might read?—Frank Longbottom

Oh, come on! We wouldn't read anything he didn't want us to see!—James Potter

You wouldn't, would you?—Frank Longbottom

Well, we might….—Sirius Black

You know, if we couldn't help ourselves. But that doesn't count!—James Potter

Right.—Frank Longbottom

Come on, Frank! Remus hides _everything_, even his calendar!—Peter Pettigrew

I want to know what's going on with that guy as much as you do, but I don't think barging in on his journal is the best way to do it.—Frank Longbottom

Do you have a better option, O Wise One?—James Potter

OWO!—Peter Pettigrew

Er….what?—Sirius Black

I just gave Frank a nickname! OWO!—Peter Pettigrew

That's the most ridiculous nickname I've ever heard. –Lucius Malfoy

AHHHH! SLYTHERIN PREFECT!—Sirius Black

Get out of our books!—James Potter

Why on Earth would I do _that_?—Lucius Malfoy

Ten points from Slytheirn, Mr. Malfoy.—Professor McGonagall

Oh, come on! They did the exact same thing to me!—Lucius Malfoy

Yes. And when they did it, it was amusing. Besides, they're Gryffindors. Now, go away.—Professor McGonagall

My father will hear about this.—Lucius Malfoy

Guess what? I don't care.—Professor McGonagall

Thanks, Professor!—Sirius Black

We owe you one!—James Potter

Oh, I'm not really McGonagall. It's me, Marianne. I just thought I'd get rid of him for you.—Marianne Wayne

I wondered why McGonagall was talking like you.—Frank Longbottom

Marianne? Really? Or are you Bellatrix pretending to be McGonagall pretending to be Marianne?—James Potter

It's me. I think I've found a way to keep Malfoy out of your notebooks, too. Meet me at the foot of Ravenclaw Tower and I'll show you.—Marianne Wayne

* * *

><p>That stupid Mudblood.—Lucius Malfoy<p>

We'll get her later, Lucy.—Bellatrix Black

STOP CALLING ME LUCY!—LUCIUS Malfoy

Get a grip, will you? That's the first time I've called you that.—Bellatrix Black

The first time? _Really_?—Andrew Nott

Well….the first time this year, anyway.—Bellatrix Black

So, Lucy, how long did it take you to figure out it wasn't McGonagall?—Narcissa Black

Really, Narcissa? You too?—Lucius Malfoy

It has a certain ring to it.—Narcissa Black

I'm not answering until you address me by my proper name.—Lucius Malfoy

Fine, He-Who-Is-Unable-To-Distinguish-A-Teacher-From-A-Mudblood.—Bellatrix Black

Unless the teacher IS a Mudblood…..—Andrew Nott

Woah….—Charlie Crabbe

Charlie, how are you even in the notebooks? I thought we took yours away.—Lucius Malfoy

Jerome lent me his, so HA!—Charlie Crabbe

Jerome, get over here.—Lucius Malfoy

Damn it, Charlie!—Jerome Radmacher

Sorry.—Charlie Crabbe

Not as sorry as you're GOING to be!—Jerome Radmacher

You were saying, He-Who-Mistook-A-Mudblooded-Ravenclaw-For-A-Hogwarts-Professor?—Bellatrix Black

Never mind!—Lucius Malfoy

Never mind what, Lucy dear?—Marianne Wayne

GET OUT OF OUR NOTEBOOKS, MUDBLOOD, OR WE'LL SEE HOW FILTHY YOUR BLOOD REALLY IS!—Bellatrix Black

Threatening violence again, Miss Black?—Professor McGonagall

Oh, no! I am NOT falling for that trick, Mudblood! Your little ruse won't work on me!—Bellatrix Black

Cruel slurs as well. What shall it be, Miss Black, points from your House or another trip to the scorpion-infested desk?—Professor McGonagall

You have until the count of three, Mudblood, before I come to your ridiculous little Tower.—Bellatrix Black

Uhh….Bella? What if that really IS McGonagall?—Andrew Nott

One!—Bellatrix Black

Bella, I think it's actually her…..—Narcissa Black

Two!—Bellatrix Black

Stop it! Stop it now!—Andrew Nott

Three! That's it! I'm coming up there!—Bellatrix Black

* * *

><p>We're very sorry, Professor.—Lucius Malfoy<p>

I'm sure you are.—Professor McGonagall

We tried to tell her it was really you, but she wouldn't listen.—Andrew Nott

I know, Mr. Nott. I was reading the conversation.—Professor McGonagall

The whole thing?—Lucius Malfoy

Most of it. The times you directed the same slur at Miss Wayne did not escape my notice.—Professor McGonagall

Like Lucius said, we're very sorry.—Narcissa Black

And as I said before, I'm sure you are. Since Bellatrix was the only one threatening violence, she will be the only one who is punished for it. The rest of you I will let off with a warning.—Professor McGonagall

Thanks, Professor.—Lucius Malfoy

Yeah, thanks.—Narcissa Black

You don't know how grateful we are.—Andrew Nott

A very STRONG warning. If I catch any of you directing that word at a fellow student again, I will punish you in whatever ways I deem fit. Do I make myself clear?—Professor McGonagall

Yes.—Narcissa Black

You do, Professor.—Andrew Nott

Extremely.—Lucius Malfoy

Good. If it softens the blow, I should tell you that Miss Wayne will also serve detention for impersonating me.—Professor McGonagall

If Bellatrix is there with her, make sure she's unarmed.—Narcissa Black

I will, Narcissa. Thank you for the warning.—Professor McGonagall

* * *

><p>Are you ready?—James Potter<p>

I don't think we should be doing this, James.—Peter Pettigrew

Come on, Peter. Are you a Gryffindor or not?—James Potter

I didn't _have_ to be a Gryffindor, you know. I could've gone into a House where they're not all mental!—Peter Pettigrew

Shut up, will you? Just keep a lookout for Filch. Sirius? Any sign of Mrs. Norris from your position?—James Potter

Sirius Black is a poo-poo headed firstie.—The Great and Powerful Peevesie

Stupid poltergeist! Stole my notebook. No, it's all clear from where I am.—Sirius Black

Good. Wait—same place as you were?—James Potter

No, Peeves is there. I'm underneath a stairwell.—Sirius Black

Peter? Where are you?—James Potter

Hiding.—Peter Pettigrew

Behind the statue of the witch, like we told you?—James Potter

No, just hiding.—Peter Pettigrew

Come on, Peter! Are you in on this or not?—James Potter

I don't want to get in trouble, James!—Peter Pettigrew

We won't get in trouble if we don't get caught! Now, get to that statue and stay there!—Sirius Black

I thought I was the leader!—James Potter

Yes. And I'm your second-in-command.—Sirius Black

What am I?—Peter Pettigrew

You're a wimp.—James Potter

Harsh, James.—Frank Longbottom

Frank? What are you doing up?—Sirius Black

Seeing what you're up to. I heard you talking about Remus tonight and figured you were planning something. Why are you so curious about him, anyway?—Frank Longbottom

He disappeared last month, too. Don't you remember?—James Potter

Or did you have your nose in a book again?—Sirius Black

I remember.—Frank Longbottom

You didn't tell McGonagall about this, did you? 'Cause if you did, tell her I never wanted in on it!—Peter Pettigrew

Oh, shut up. You wanted in on it from the beginning.—James Potter

I didn't tell anyone.—Frank Longbottom

Prove it.—Sirius Black

McGonagall isn't after you, is she?—Frank Longbottom

I haven't seen her.—Sirius Black

Me neither.—James Potter

Or me.—Peter Pettigrew

Well, there you go.—Frank Longbottom

That doesn't prove anything!—James Potter

Shut up, James! Pomfrey's coming!—Sirius Black

Remus is with her?—James Potter

Yeah. They're passing my stairwell…..she's got her hand on his shoulder….wow, he looks even worse than he did at dinner.—Sirius Black

Worse than that? If he feels as bad as he looks, how is he _walking_?—James Potter

You think he's sick?—Frank Longbottom

If he were sick, Pomfrey would be taking him to the hospital wing, wouldn't she? They're on the second floor, heading for the stairs.—James Potter

Up or down?—Sirius Black

Down. I'll follow. DAMN! Mrs. Norris is here!—James Potter

She hasn't seen me. I'll follow.—Sirius Black

Following…..they spotted me! No—wait—false alarm. On Remus's tail again.—Sirius Black

Are they saying anything?—James Potter

Nope. Nothing at all.—Sirius Black

Wait! She's saying, "You shouldn't have waited so long."—Sirius Black

So long for what?—James Potter

Shut up! That's what I'm trying to figure out! Okay….Remmy's saying he knows, he's sorry, he had a huge homework assignment from Professor Binns….—Sirius Black

That guy sure likes giving homework! I'm not even finished with mine.—Peter Pettigrew

Isn't it due tomorrow?—Frank Longbottom

Yes, but _someone_ dragged me into some harebrained scheme to figure out what Remus is up to!—Peter Pettigrew

What's going on now, Sirius?—James Potter

Pomfrey's leading him to the door. Wait—what?—Sirius Black

That doesn't make any sense.—James Potter

I know, it's just….weird.—Sirius Black

Can you follow them outside without being seen?—James Potter

I'll go as far as I can. Hang on.—Sirius Black

Okay, I'm hiding near that willow they planted—the really mean one—oh crap! They're coming right towards me!—Sirius Black

Run, Sirius! Run for your life!—Peter Pettigrew

I'm not running, you dimwit! I can hear them perfectly!—Sirius Black

What's going on?—James Potter

Sirius?—James Potter

Oh no, he's been caught!—Peter Pettigrew

No, I haven't been caught. I just didn't want to write because I was afraid Pomfrey would hear my quill.—Sirius Black

So what happened?—James Potter

I….I still don't know. It doesn't make any sense. Pomfrey pressed a knot on the tree—or a button or something, I'm not sure, but a tunnel appeared—and she led Remus through, saying they had to hurry, and Remus said "I know, I'll run," and Pomfrey said he was in no condition to run, he shouldn't even be walking.—Sirius Black

And?—James Potter

And….that's it. That's all I heard before the door closed.—Sirius Black

It doesn't make any sense. Why would Pomfrey take Remus out of the school once a month, and take him off school grounds, when he was sick?—James Potter

Wait…..—Sirius Black

What?—James Potter

Did McGonagall catch you?—Peter Pettigrew

The moon just rose.—Sirius Black

That happens every night, Sirius.—Peter Pettigrew

It's not always full.—Sirius Black

Wait—you're not saying….—James Potter

I'm just saying it's a possibility.—Sirius Black

It DOES make sense.—Frank Longbottom

He can't be a werewolf! He's too nice!—Peter Pettigrew

Look, we don't know for sure. Maybe we should all just get back to bed, talk about it, and say hi to Remus in the morning.—James Potter

What do you say?—James Potter

I'm coming in.—Sirius Black

Already on my way!—Peter Pettigrew

I'll meet you in the common room.—Frank Longbottom


End file.
